Free to Fly

ah-hah

Just when you make the choice and decide that this is the end,

Someone else comes in and swoops you off your feet,

And it all works out for the best.

Right?

Because-

I’m blurting things out,

I have no filter,

which is weird because I am usually very cautious of what I say…

My habit to ‘play it safe’ was thrown out the window yesterday.

I need some self control,

I need to tie my feet to the Anchor,

gotta keep my head out of the clouds,

Let him come to me.

What, me? Flirting? uh-no…

I like rock, I like, pop, I like hip-hop, and a little bit of everything.

This wasn’t meant to make any sense.

This is my mind right now- going crazy.

It’s almost SUMMER! YAY

haha thanks for reading this nonsense.

-Manejae Regina<3

Dead Week

It’s that time again- last week of school before finals.  So much is happening it would take a while for me to write and explain… but the verse I got for today, from my bday card from my cousin, is this:

⁴Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!

⁵ Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near.

⁶Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.

⁷ And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

…

¹³I can do all this through him who gives me strength.

Rejoice. Rejoice! Sometimes all we can do is praise God for all He’s done and for all He is even when nothing makes sense and the world seems to be falling apart. Worshiping God through music is all I can do sometimes because that’s all I have, that and prayer. Music is my first turn-to, but I am learning to stop and meditate, listen and pray. When others can’t worship in song, because they are too weak or because they have lost their path… I will take it upon myself to sing for them, like prayer, so that God can be their comfort and surround them with peace.

When I am stressing I have to rejoice in the Lord because He is all I have in the end. Everything may not turn out as I had hoped, but Everything turns out the way He planned them to and I remember that I am safe. I remember that everything actuallyismeaningless. Nothing really matters. There is only one thing that matters and it’s God- Loving God; worshiping Himisthe only thing that matters. We were made just for that, and to let the rest of the World know.

In one of my classes we have a group project to make a 25 minute worship service, haha, and the songs are too perfect for the season I just wanted to share especially if you are dealing with your own personal “dead weak”, or in the dessert place. God is the only meaning in our lives, he has to be the center.

Here are the songs that we are using in our “service”:

http://open.spotify.com/track/53l3x1vPAdyZJk2hEFD9Qc

http://open.spotify.com/track/0oKP2395YXNeQKREtsGUc0

http://open.spotify.com/track/2Dna7rkmwdDp2AuB6vb9xJ

http://open.spotify.com/track/6O1WbrSpcFCFwV4AyiLQfH

I am glad that I am taking my break to go to a Mexico Outreach trip with the school. At least then I wont be moping around fantasizing the perfect situations in my head of what could be, or what I could’ve done. My focus is going to be on God, and I really- really hope that God speaks to me there. I really need this time away from school to focus and get a one on one with God and leave all my little problems here in Azusa.

April is going to fly by, especially with all the crazy crap-load of work being piled on to my tremendous amount of previous work. I just hope it will turn out better than what I expect, especially since God is on my side.

I hate writing about all of the lame stuff I am going through, but without the sucky seasons in life then the great seasons would not be much of worth.

I have a week off-Lets see God move in my life.

I have a month left of school-Lets see God’s greatness.

With what time I have left God can do GREAT things, because time is man made, and God-well, He can do Anything.

<3

Hopeful

Life

It is SOOO hard seeing a certain person and wondering why!? cant we just be friends and see where it goes from there. I make things complicated sometimes. I understand when a girl can get so caught up on a guy… Ugh. Bahhh! Everyday… Ahh! he drives me crazy…

Just had to vent sorry.  LOL

On a high ˆnote. “La” lol

I LOVE school and my teachers and my Nerdy music friends! and my loving roommates!

There are so many things to be thankful for.

Trying to sustain a major chord in this minor key. does that even make sense?  LOL

I have no idea what God has in store for me, but I am actually excited to see what could come my way. :)

-Manejae-Jae

Lent

I’m fasting Secular Music this year…Yeah its tough, especially since I am addicted to Spotify and checking out new music. It is really coming in handy though, I got to say, because I need God more than ever. When I listen to music that focuses on God, I end up relying on Him, instead of building my identity in my favorite rock/punk music… lol  I love that stuff.

I had a major crush on this guy and so that’s why I am trying to stay as occupied as possible- to keep him off my mind. I am so thankful for friends and family who love me for who I am, and I am grateful that I can be my weird and awkward self around them.

I have no idea how my multiple situations are going to turn out for next school year, or  summer! I can barely keep up on my classes now..

My mind is all over the place.

This is my season in Lent right now.. Deep in the pit, like I got socked in the gut, perfect for lent… ugh. I really do feel another side coming out of me though. I feel a bit bolder to take on anything, and since I don’t have a boyfriend, I am free to do whatever I want, and go where ever I wish, and pile up a crap-load of stuff for next year! LOL  jk

I apologize for being moapy for the rest of the semester..  hopefully it wont last as long..

<3 

A little bit longer

Sometimes it is hard to wait for something-

Something you swear God had told you was coming;

A promise you never could have possibly imagined being as great.

You get so close that you are about to break and go insane

because when you reach out your hand and and try to take it,

you miss and are told to wait a minute.

“But it’s mine, He said I could have it.

Isnt this what I was trained for? Isnt this one of the things I was made for?

I’m ready. Or so I thought I was… Maybe this isnt what You really wanted at all..”

But then the still small voice says-No, don’t give up on this.

Dont give up, just wait for it.

Then the clouds rolled overhead & the heavens grew silent to see what I’d do.

Like when taking a big assignment in class in order for you to pass.

Yeah I waited and I had to wait some more…

I Thank the Lord for my last lesson in this season 

Because when the time comes I will be ready for the blessing I am undeserving of receiving.

It will be like entering a foreign city that I could only dream of,

A place where I never spoke the language of the people,

A new feeling and experience that will open my eyes to a new kind of love & appreciation for the Lord’s creation.

There will be a new song, a new harmony to the lonely melody I’ve been carrying in my heart for so long.

Thank you Lord for never letting me fall short.

He holds me together when I burst apart and let the water escape out of the cracks of my moving heart.

Just “wait on the Lord & be of good courage,
& He shall strengthen your heart:
 Wait on the LORD “-Psalm  27:14.

God is preparing you for it.

Remember the longer the wait

the more it’s worth it..

Head over heels…

I got what I asked for,

God answered all my calls,

I prayed that I could know

And now it’s not enough.

If I could, I would change my prayer,

Never make a wish, because they ^always come with a consequence,

But with God, if I’m on the right path, The Holy Spirit will lead me,

Let’s hope this is where God wants me to go.

God, is this the right road?

Yes he thinks I’m cute,

Yes he’s willing to come and take me out,

Now its over and the wait is on,

My first impression was a risky one,

I held back and let my shyness take a hold of me…

But if he truly is the one God has in store for me,

Then this is not the end,

Its just the beginning.

And now I have to wait to see if God is leading him back to me.

I can’t trust in man, But in God I can,

 I know the truth will come, and with God I’ll stand back up on my two feet.

- Psalm 27:14

2012

2012, I know, what a great title right? Hahaha.

Anyways, Stuff always happens to that one person. In which this case is me. An hour before the new year the toilet overflows all over the place.. thank God it was just water though… Haha. Uh, yeah. But it was pretty funny though. We call it a delay from me trying to finish the last 5 pages of The Hunger Games. Yeah I tried to finish, but with that delay and everyone talking, I mean who can read at a time like this- new years, not the other delay (haha). Let’s hope 2012 will have no more delays or distractions. That’s  a huge one for me this year. And also- No  more stupid long sicknesses. I’ve had this disgusting cough from a long drown-out sinus infection, and right before the ball drop I had a stomach ache and a headache… GOODBYE 2011. I learned So much through all the pain and suffering, I feel ready for 2012. 2011 has prepared me to be strong and focused; not letting anything get by me or surprise me.

Second thing for two thousand and twelve! :D is to laugh out loud more. Smile;] make people wonder why; it’s fun. I just need to stop worrying about what others think of me. If I just carry on and do me, which I happened to learn a lot about int this past year (Man, that year was a monster), then I can just focus on me and the rest will follow. I care too much about me, but if I just focus on being me than what I appear to be, then I will be able to reach into others lives and help them and the focus is actually taken off of me. Hopefully that makes sense.

Anyways, Happy 2012! I am ready for youuu.

What are the 5 things I am believing in this year? Right now I can only think of 2, and I so badly want them.  I found my list for 2011.. yeah, truth is i forgot about it. AND Guess what!? Everything on the list came to pass. A great BFFR, (lol) I learned A WHOLE LOT about myself through stressful & depressing times, gained confidence in God, and my voice. 

Let’s see how long I can keep the Tumblr page up. Buh!-Bye!

HellOo new year, new day, new beginnings.

-XoXo’s

(The Hunger Games is agoodread by the way)

God’s Story.

It’s nice being able to go to school and look like a total mess,

rolled-out-of-bed, bad breath, with no make-up on, in the wee morning,

and not have to worry about how you look.

Its nice knowing that you’ve grown comfortable around complete strangers within your major, because you’ve all become one on the same track, a part of the bigger journey.

They’ve become more than just faces, they have a past, a future, and your witnessing their present, give more gifts and be present,

Dont just live, but walk in meaning,

because one person can change the world, with just one feeling

of Joy, with a smile,

or Giddy with a- hello how you doin’?

Isnt it cool how you think someone doesnt like you, and you end up being friends.

Or how you think she may be the one,

But then he’s not what you imagined.

This year has been a blast,it went Kaboom, splat, exploded

all around until there’s no more sound,

and God’s peace brings me back down,

from my dreams, that I had for me

to His truth and reality.

Accept where you are, and make the best of it,

with every little thing that you get,

go with it, run with it.

Change your situation,

make it what it could be and not what it is.

Make it for the better,

and stay true with all that He is.

This is God’s story, this is His telling

Nothing is of my own.